The Un-Dateable Me. Finding Love when you feel like The Most Un-Dateable Person on the Planet

How I met THE LOVE OF MY LIFE using the Power of LOVE and some QUANTUM PHYSICS.

If you think your love life sucks and you are questioning the idea that you will ever find love, let me tell you a little story about THE Most Un-Dateable Person on the Planet and how he found love.

Hi, let me introduce myself. My name is Jimmy, and from 2008 – 2012, I was the 4 time reigning titleholder for: THE Most Un-Dateable Person on the Planet.

Let me give you a little rundown of how great I looked on paper at the time:

  1. When I unknowingly entered my reign I was nearly 50 years old.
  2. My partner of 14.5 years said to me, “I think it is time we begin seeing other people.”
  3. This coincided, EXACTLY, with the economic crash being realized in early 2008. The day he uttered the words, stated in item 2, I remember asking, “Do we have to do this right now?!”
  4. Thus began the downfall of my candle business & the onset of my low-grade mild to moderate, functioning depression – my Dark Period.
  5. After 3 years of intense struggle (Navy Seal training level of intense, but not as much fun), my business exhaled it’s final breath and I, for the first time in over 20 years, found myself without a business, without a passion, without a direction, and seemingly without the ability to be employable. (Apparently nobody wanted to hire someone who had been self-employed and an entrepreneur for the past 20 years – go figure!)
  6. According to my doctor I was “obese”. He obviously didn’t factor in that I am “big boned”.
  7. He also pointed out that because of my diet, my (non-existent) exercise routine and the fact that, according to my blood work, I was well on my way to becoming a diabetic and had “a rather moderate risk for heart disease”. I was killing myself, slowly.
  8. I used to describe myself as a “homebody”, but as I look back, a couchbody was more appropriate.
  9. Whoever would fall in love with me would HAVE to be an animal lover. During that period my adopted family consisted of 13 dogs and a cat named George; all rescues. At different times, it was unclear who was rescuing whom; they rescued me in many ways.
  10. Dog hair at my house during those years was an issue – often times that sleeping dog curled up in the corner was not a dog at all, just the remnants of several dogs hanging out together. This highly unique person who would be willing to partner with me must also have an extremely high tolerance for animal dander; and possess not one ounce or ANY form of neat-freak-itis. Painting a pretty picture so far, huh? It gets even prettier.
  11. Due to the many dogs and the varying stages of life and condition upon rescue, my home had a Geriatric Ward, a Special Needs Unit and my kitchen was quickly turned into a Triage & Emergency Room.
  12. If this person would have been privileged enough to have been invited over, they would have found a house that was in various stages of abandoned remodel, disrepair with a décor that could best be described as Mid-Century Modern Depression. As you know Dove Gray is all the rage; which in actuality is just 1970’s taupe with a slight hue of depression mixed in.
  13. By the end of my illustrious FOUR YEAR reign I was ABSOLUTELY financially broke; not one paycheck in 4 years. No more savings, my credit cards were maxed, which had then gone into default, and my credit score (which used to be very high) was now riding low and dirty. I was selling off everything I could, including my prized possessions, to keep a roof over my head and food in the bellies of my 13 dogs and a cat named George. I was living on $5 per week for my personal food in-take (plus whatever leftovers my friends would give me). Don’t feel bad for me, it has a really happy ending.
  14. And the Deluxe GRAND Prize for that fortunate ONE who was unfortunate enough to make it this far to becoming the love of my life, (now, let me pause for just a moment here, because this one takes a lot of guts to admit…deep breath…ok, I am ready) living upstairs in the same house as me was my ex-partner of 14.5 years. (Yes, this is true, though strictly for financial reasons. Trust me, neither of us wanted a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g to do with the other – it was a forced and sometimes contemptuous co-habitation. We have grown into being like siblings now, we love each other and would do anything for the other, but we just don’t have to hang out together. And yes, this prize package gets even better for this unlucky poor sucker…
  15. The Extra Added BONUS with this Marvelous No-Expenses-Paid Deluxe Grand Prize Package for THREE was the fact that the only working shower in the house was in the bathroom attached to my bedroom… So, at ANY given moment, and at ANY inopportune time, DAY or NIGHT, my ex might need to walk through me and my new lover’s bedroom to take a shower.

Do I win?

What do you think my chances would have been in finding someone who could withstand/endure/tolerate all of that?

I’m guessing that by the time most of you got to number 10 the laces were tightened on the Nike’s and you were stretching for a long, long run.

Wait! I forgot something very important that needs to be considered; before you calculate the odds of me finding love, add in the factor that we are dealing in the Wonderful World of Gay Men (not associated with any known group or organization, and no connection with Disney – please don’t sue me!). To be kind to my kind, let’s just say that many gay men are quite specific and opinionated as to what they are and are not looking for in a mate. I would take a wild guess that NOT ONE gay man would have ANY of the above listed items included on his “Dream-Boy-what-I’m-looking-for-in-a-mate” Vision Board.

OK, now take a guess; what do you believe my chances would have been in finding someone who could withstand that much torture – willingly?

Anyone guess zero? Come on, be nice and give me a chance at least. How about giving me a fraction of a fraction of a percent?

Well guess what? You’d be right.

That’s all I needed; a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent. All I needed was 1 willing soul in the estimated 69 million available gay men in America (estimation based on marginal research – don’t hold me to that number).  I knew that 99.9999999855% of all the available guys in America were NOT going to be THE ONE.

All I needed was the 0.0000000145. I’m not greedy.

Call me a Helpless Optimist, if you must, but even with those immeasurable odds, and that radiant dating resume in my back pocket, I KNEW in my HEART I would find love, or to be more precise, love would find me (I will explain that in greater detail later).  So, at some point near the early-mid period of my reign of the Un-Dateable Me, I remembered to apply some of the “magic”, as I liked to call it, I learned over the years. This magic consisted of tools and practices I used when building my life’s greatest achievements and successes; which also happen to be the same tools (when I didn’t realize I was applying them) that helped me create my life’s greatest, let’s call them, non-successes. Just a note to those who I can already hear whispering in the peanut gallery… in the time period leading up to and into my reign as The Un-Dateable Me, I seemingly, and completely, forgot everything I had ever learned from building of my successful past.  It is a funny thing what depression and fear can do to a mind and consciousness that knows better.

Little did I know, on October 29, 2011 at the Round Up Saloon & Dancehall, that the very energetic Power Ranger who was performing the most comical and cute Country & Western line dance I’d ever seen, would end up becoming my Mr. 0.0000000145. I specifically remember saying to myself in that moment, “THAT is the energy I would love to have with me in my life.” And when he turned around facing away from me, in that tight fitting bright red polyester costume, showing off the cutest back-side I had ever seen, I said, “…and I could live with THAT for the rest of my life!”

I now find it interesting that it was his energy that attracted me first. I hadn’t even seen his face yet (because of the mask). What makes it interesting is that what caught my attention first was his energy; he possessed the number 2 item on my list of what I was looking for in a mate. I purposefully didn’t put an age, race, face or body type on that list… I was just hoping it would be a male.  Here are my top two things I was calling forth in my mate:

  1. They would possess the capacity for love as great as me or greater.
  2. They would possess the capacity for happiness as great as me or greater.

Later that night when I saw him without the mask, I though… “He’s cute…(long pause) and Asian”. I had never dated an Asian before and would have never guessed I would. Dating an Asian was just never in my consciousness, I always ended up with white guys. I remember saying to myself, “Open your mind Jimmy, open your mind!”

And open my mind, I guess I did. Over the course of the next 1 year and 9 months, we had ourselves a not-so-old fashioned C&W Dancehall Romance and fell madly in love (which is a great story you can read later in this blog, link below – there is suspense, drama and a GPS Tracker – it ALL had to play out inside that Dancehall).

On August 9, 2013, in Provincetown, Massachusetts, Mr. 0.0000000145 became Mr. Masashi “Mabo” Yamamura-Belasco in Provincetown, MA.

And when you think about the odds I just laid out for you to wrap your brain around, they were actually even greater – those odds were based on that person being an American – Mabo was still a Japanese citizen – so the odds were even more unbelievably odder. Who’dathunkit?

My number 3 on my list was: They will think I am the cutest thing on the planet and I will think they are the cutest thing on the planet.

In my eyes Mabo is absolutely THE cutest thing on the planet…and, thank goodness, he thinks the same about me.

Do you want to know something even more amazing, every attribute I had down on my list, and mind you, these were personality attributes and not physical ones (I kept my physical ones in my head for fear of jinxing anything), EVERY SINGLE attribute I had on my list, he possesses. He even possesses attributes I was afraid to put down, thinking I had gone too far and was asking too much. Mabo is the physical, emotional and spiritual embodiment of what I was calling forth in a mate. And yes, I did win! I feel like the kid who won THE BIGGEST & BEST PRIZE at the State Fair of Texas!

This blog is about how I did it. Yes, how I did it. I purposefully took steps, used tools and schools of thought to bring this experience into my existence. I know you have heard of people saying things like this and I can tell you, at least in my case, it is true – these things do work and they can come true. Once you understand how it works and operate knowingly, you are only limited by your imagination.  I would like to share with you how I did it. Welcome to my blog.

To read our story, please click here: Mabo & Jimmy: A Country & Western Dancehall Romance.

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